Cure For The Itch
by DestineyTot
Summary: While on a mission, Toad let's extreme boredom get the best of him and takes to annoying his partner. Archer isn't too fond of it and finds a way to "reprimand" his spotter. Archer/Toad SLASH


**After talking about this with xGhostxStealth on DeviantART, I've finally decided to write this little oneshot. And if you read the description, it's Archer/Toad slash. Yus! I can't believe no one has done this pairing yet! It's shocking. Archer/Toad is just such an awesome pairing. Well, to ME it is. **

**So...enjoy some Sniper/Spotter action! Nothing too serious, but still...it contains SLASH. No likey, no readey, no flamey.  
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**Cure For The Itch**

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"Snipers in position?" Mactavish asked across the comms.

"Ready to act on your go, Mactavish." Archer replied.

He and Toad were positioned high on the hill, observing the route that Mactavish's team was supposed to take. Clad in their Ghillie suits, they were practically invisible, hidden in the thick brush of the woods. Unless you were an experienced spotter, you wouldn't be able to see them until you saw the whites of their eyes. Archer nudged his spotter, pointing dwn the hill.

"Keep an eye out for me, Toad. I'm relying on you."

"Sure, sure." Toad replied nonchalently. The spotter peered through his scope, scanning the field down below them. A slight ruffle in the bushes gave sign that the wind was starting to pick up.

"Bloody hell." Archer cursed, Essex acent accompanying his voice. Of course, wind wouldn't really be a problem for someone as experienced as him, but it really didn't serve to make his job any easier.

"You've got some serious bad luck." Toad joked to his Brit partner. Archer turned and glared at his partner. "Grumpy." Toad muttured, trying to supress a smile.

"Shut up Toad." Archer snapped. "And get back to work."

"Okay, okay." Toad complied unwillingly. He went back to peering through his scope. The spotter noticed an unatural movement from a tree branch and relayed the position to Archer. The sniper readied his Intervention and took the shot. The tall grass ruffled slightly. Toad observed the dead body on the ground. "That's a hit."

"I _always hit_ the target." Archer retorted slyly.

"You're rather self-inflated." Toad smirked.

"Plenty of reason to be." Archer gave his spotter a gentle push on the shoulder. The two men laughed quietly.

More minutes passed as the two scouted the area for tangos, thinning out the numbers of enemies that would get in Mactavish's way. It was a fairly easy mission. They had the upper hand, especially with the sniper support. Toad began to find himself becoming bored with the lack of competition. So he began to take to annoying his partner for fun.

The spotter sneakily reached out for Archer's thigh, intending to 'surprise' him. He gave a faint squeeze to the busy sniper, making him jump and earning a small, shocked yelp from him.

"Ah what the hell?" Archer belowed out. Toad burst out laughing, entertained by his partners shock. Archer stared at him in disbelief while his spotter merely laughed at him. "Seriously?"

Toad continued laughing for a few more seconds, then slowly let it die down to small giggles. Soon he was quiet again, and the two men went back to scouting the field.

It wasn't long until Toad felt the strong urge to "mess" with his partner again. He slowly reached over to Archer, grabbing a piece of the vegetation on his ghillie suit. All of a sudden, he yanked it hard towards him, making the sniper loose his balance and fall over.

"Toad, I swear to god!" Archer yelled at his spotter. Toad laughed mischieviously, ignoring the venom in Archer's voice. Archer fixed himself, getting back into position and scowling something in his British accent too low for his American partner to understand.

"Aw, ease up. Don't be such a hard-ass." Toad lowered his mask, exposing the rest of his face. There was really no need to be wearing it, he thought, especially with the warm summer weather. Archer soon followed suit, maybe because of the heat, or maybe just because Toad did.

"I'm not a hard-ass. You're just annoying." Toad knew not to take Archer's words to heart. It only served to make him smile more.

Archer went back to peering through his scope, but it wasn't long until Toad began messing with him again. It started with small, annoying tugs, flicks, and squeezes. Everytime he settled back into position, Toad was right there, finding some other way to bug him. He felt his patience begin to wear thin and found it much harder to hold back the string of profanities.

Another small, annoying gesture had Archer turning on Toad. The spotter was taken by surprise whenever his partner tackled him down. Archer had Toads arm pinned to his sides, straddling his partner's waist as he glared daggers at him.

"You are bloody annoying!" He yelled at the young American. Toad stared up at Archer with wide eyes, completely taken back by the sudden strong reaction. Archer merely stared back, glaring daggers at him. A few seconds passed before Toad finally got his bearings. The look on his face now wasn't shock, but rather embarassment. The spotter blushed beet red when he realized the position they were in. "What is wrong with you?" Archer asked, totally oblivious.

"N-Nothing..." Toad's voice betrayed him. Archer cocked an eyebrow, studying the new expression on his face.

"You're blushing." He inquired, sounding almost coy.

"I am not!" Toad burst out defiantly.

Archer's glared melted in a slow smile, then he started laughing. "You're blushing!"

"Aw, get off of me!" Toad yelled out, struggling against Archer.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no. This is _revenge_." Archer pushed Toad's arms up above his head. The spotter stared at his partner with shocked green eyes. The sniper leaned down towards his partner, invading the bubble that was Toad's personal space.

"I'm clausterphobic." Toad muttured quickly.

"That excuse won't work." Archer retorted.

"I'll start hyperventillating." Toad tried again.

"I don't care." The sniper countered once more. Archer leaned in closer, face just mere inches away from Toad's. Toad froze up immediatly at the close contact, heart beating furiously. He watched Archer with a deer-in-the-headlights expression, unable to contemplate what to do next.

He couldn't really say that he was all too surprised whenever their lips touched each other. Archer kissed him with patience, working his lips against Toad's slowly. The spotter let his eyes flutter shut as he responded to his partner's actions. For the longest moment, the only sound in the quiet woods was the sound of their lips moving in sychronization.

The sniper let his tongue run over Toad's lips, urging his partner to comply to his wants. Toad's lips parted slightly and he used the opportunity to thrust his tongue into his mouth, tasting the hot velvet. Toad moaned gently against his partner's actions, responding to him eagerly. The kiss kept its slow pace, never getting out of hand or sloppy. He was impressed by how good Archer was at was he did. Every movement he made was executed with careful precision.

The sniper let go of Toad's arms, letting one hand snake its way around his neck, pressing thier mouths together and deepening the kiss. Toad''s arms felt like lifeless hoses. They merely lay limp above his head, his mind too clouded to decide what to do with them.

It was over quicker than what Toad had expected. Archer climbed off of his partner, leaving the American breathless. The sniper resumed his position by his gun, as if nothing had happened.

"Are you going to get up and do your job Toad, or are you just going to lie there like a sack of potatoes?" Archer asked his spotter nonchalantly.

Toad rose up from his spot on the ground, awkwardly returning to his position by his scope. The spotter observed the field below once again, but his thoughts were still roaming elsewhere. The longest time passed without any distractions from Toad, letting Archer snipe in peace.

Finally, Mactavish radioed back in. "Mission success. Snipers are to rendevouz back at the pavelow with the rest of the team."

"Copy that, sir." Archer spoke into his reciever. He slung the intervention around his back and stood up, Toad following suit at a much slower pace. The two walked back down the hill mostly in silence. After a while, Archer finally spoke. "That's better."

Toad cocked and eyebrow at the Brit, unable to contain his question. "What's better?"

"Well, you finally left me alone. So I'm assuming we both got what we wanted."

Toad shot Archer a confused look. "What are you talking about? We both _got what we wanted_?"

"Well, I just wanted you to leave me alone. I got that. And you just wanted some _attention_." Archer added the last word slyly, smirking.

"_Attention_? I didn't ask for that KIND of attention!" Toad retorted quickly.

"Well, you seemed to like it fairly well, mate."

Toad was taken back by Archer's words. He pursed his lips, thinking of a counter for his arguement. Finally, after not finding one, he merely scowled and looked away. "Whatever. Just...don't tell anyone that happened."

"Sure, sure." Archer agreed, mimicking Toad's use of sarcasm.

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**EUUURG! I really liked how this turned out! Really...I've been "okay" with my other oneshots, but this has to be my favorite MW2 onshot I've written so far, even out of all the Ghost/Roach/Soap ones I've done. Well, you know what to do now...REVIEW! Oh, and give me your opinion on this pairing!**


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